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Members of Village People Officiate ULC Wedding

Monday, November 21st, 2011

We all know the Village People for classic hits like “YMCA” and “In the Navy”, and for their eccentric, flamboyant outfits depicting archetypes like the biker, construction worker, police officer, sailor, Native American, etc., and now two members of the inimitable dance-pop group can add “Universal Life Church wedding officiant” to their resume: the two band-members, Eric Anzalone, the “biker”, and Felipe Rose, the “Native American”, recently performed a wedding ceremony in concert for two of their fans, Elberta Smoak and Frank Goldsmith.

The wedding was performed on-stage at the Starlite Theatre in Las Vegas after an email request from Goldsmith, the groom-to-be. Initially Goldsmith assumed the band would reject the request. “I saw that the Village People were playing [in Las Vegas] and thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if I could email them and get a little rejection letter that said, “We can’t do your wedding, but we’re so happy for y’all”?’” he told Huffpost Weddings, adding, “I’d frame it and give it to [Smoak] and say, ‘Hey, the Village People are happy we’re getting married”. To Smoak and Goldsmith’s surprise, however, the band responded in the affirmative and agreed to perform a modern wedding ceremony for the couple. According to Huffpost Weddings, Anzalone said “[the wedding] was never on my bucket list, but it’s definitely one of those cool things I can say that I’ve done”, adding that it is “going to be one of those things where I can say, ‘Yeah, I performed at Radio City Music Hall. Yeah, I got a star on the Walk of Fame. Yeah, I’ve actually married somebody’”. The “yes” response to Goldsmith’s email turned out to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him and Smoak and added some rather idiosyncratic, attention-grabbing entertainment value to the band’s repertoire.

The ordination process for Anzalone and Rose turned out to be surprisingly easy. All they had to do was to become ordained ministers in Smoak and Goldsmith’s church, the Universal Life Church, which is exactly what they did. Smoak and Goldsmith registered their ordinations online themselves, but the ordination was consensual: they met Anzalone and Rose for the first time at the Starlite Theatre, where they knelt, placed their hands on the band-members’ shoulders, and said a short prayer as part of an ordination ceremony. That allowed Anzalone and Rose to legally marry the couple, and this is what they did in a short ceremony in concert just before performing “YMCA”.

And that’s how you get married by members of The Village People: send an email, get them ordained in your church, and attend an in-concert wedding performed by a man in leather and another one dressed as a Native American chief. All the right ingredients for an offbeat wedding are there: the celebrities, the flamboyance, the concert, Las Vegas. Even better, because it is a ULC ordination, it is completely legal. Now, we’re not recommending tens of thousands of fans start flooding the band with emails requesting them to officiate their weddings, but is nice to know the band can be so accessible to their fans. The ULC Monastery would like to congratulate Smoak and Goldsmith on their wedding, and we hope to see Anzalone and Rose perform many more in the future.

Source:

The Huffington Post

Tags: be a minister, celebrity weddings, get ordained online become a minister, musicians, online ordination, ordained, ordination, ULC, Universal Life Church, village people
Posted in Academics, Celebrity Ministers, Equal Protection Clause, LGBTQ rights, Non-Denominational Weddings, Politics, Religious Freedom, Spirituality, faith, humanity, marriage, marriage equality | No Comments »

Conan O’Brien Officiates Gay Wedding On-Air……

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

Conan O’Brien may be better known for the occasional good-humored gay joke he cracks for his audience, but the ULC Monastery’s newest celebrity minister has proved to be a true supporter of social justice cause. On Thursday, O’Brien took advantage of New York State’s Marriage Equality Act to officiate a same-sex wedding in New York. The ULC Monastery couldn’t be happier with O’Brien’s clear public support for marriage equality.

The host of TBS’s Conan recently revealed to The Washington Post his reason for deciding to get ordained online and take his show to New York City’s Beacon Theater was to officiate the wedding–but it remained unclear who the lucky couple was. Now the Post reports, America’s beloved ginger comic will be marrying the show’s long time costume designer, Scott Cronick, to his partner David Gorshein on air during the show. The ceremony will be the first of its kind as well: O’Brien told The Post, “[t]his will be the first, I believe, same-sex wedding performed on late night television”. So, people have yet another good reason to tune in to the lightheartedly self-deprecating comic’s late night show.

It was originally rumored that the flame-haired comic decided to become a minister and perform the ceremony as part of a publicity stunt to boost the show’s ratings, which have fallen since he left NBC. However, it is wise not to jump to that conclusion, according to the Web site Vulture, show sources have suggested that the event is actually a quite serious and meaningful affair. His intentions should be taken seriously not only because the ceremony is being held in New York (and is therefore legal), but also because Cronick is a longtime staffer of the show. For those reasons it seems fair to treat the Conan ceremony as a genuine validation of same-sex affection.
And for that we are grateful. The ULC Monastery would like to congratulate Cronick and Gorshein on their new life together and to thank O’Brien for showing so much support for the gay and lesbian community. We hope to see many more quirky, offbeat ceremonies from the inimitable humorist for years to come–and a boost to those ratings, to boot.

Sources:

Vulture

The Washington Post

Tags: be a minister, be a priest, Conan, Conan O'Brien, gay marriage, gay weddings, Get Ordained, get ordained online, Marriage equality, the tonight show, the tonight show with conan o'brien, ULC, Universal Life Church
Posted in Alternative Religion, Celebrity Ministers, Christianity, Churches, Equal Protection Clause, LGBTQ rights, Non-Denominational Weddings, Politics, Progressive spirituality, Religious Freedom, Secular alternatives, Spirituality, The Bible, Uncategorized, What would Jesus do, faith, humanity, marriage, marriage equality, music | No Comments »

Conan O’Brien Ordained by Universal Life Church Monastery

Friday, October 28th, 2011

As New York Magazine‘s Vulture blog has just announced, Conan O’Brien, will be celebrating the one-year anniversary of his Late Night TBS talk show, by officiating the same-sex marriage of a longtime staffer. We’re proud to confirm that Conan is one of the Universal Life Church Monastery’s most recent ordained ministers! Though the date of the wedding ceremony has yet to be released, Conan was ordained with Universal Life Church Monastery on October 21^st and will likely be performing the marriage as part of the shows one week stint of episodes in New York City next week.

The Monastery salutes Conan’s courage to perform a same-sex marriage and to set the example that we are all children of the same universe; gay, straight, black, white, brown, young and old. The church invites all to become a minister of their own beliefs and speak truth to power during these critical times of change.

Tags: be a minister, be a priest, become a minister, become a priest, celebrity weddings, Conan, Conan O'Brien, gay marriage, gay weddings, Get Ordained, get ordained online, marriage, Marriage equality, marriages, online ordination, pop culture, television, weddings
Posted in Academics, Alternative Religion, Celebrity Ministers, Equal Protection Clause, LGBTQ rights, Non-Denominational Weddings, Politics, Progressive spirituality, Religious Freedom, Spirituality, Wedding Trends, What would Jesus do, faith, humanity, marriage, marriage equality, sex, washington dc | No Comments »

Turning the Traditional Wedding on Its Head

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

For many brides-and-grooms-to-be, the image of a young woman in a fluffy white dress being led by her father down the aisle to say “I do” to a stern man in a sober black suit has grown stale, and a trifle generic. Nowadays, more people want to have an alternative wedding ceremony which reflect their unique tastes as a couple, and sometimes this means reinventing age-old traditions and, quite literally, throwing a little dirt on things. Below are a few ideas that are catching the wedding industry by storm might inspire a more creative and personalized wedding for the reader.

A lot of trends have focussed on re-defining what it means to be a bride or groom, and one of these is the “little black bridesmaid’s dress”, something even a lot of ULC wedding officiants haven’t seen at the altar yet. Traditionally, as we all know, black has been reserved for the groom and his men while the bride has donned and her bridesmaids, a vibrant blue, magenta, purple, or other similar color. But never black. Nowadays, though, bridesmaids and even brides themselves are wearing black because they like it, and it fits with the sartorial concept they had in mind (i.e. “Maybe I want my bridesmaids in black silk to resemble the night sky”, or something similarly inspired). For modern couples, white is no longer a symbol of purity, and black opens up countless creative opportunities.

But the change in symbolism goes a little deeper than wearing black instead of white, and sex roles based on specious notions about intrinsic biological differences are beginning to crumble with the emergence of more egalitarian wedding and engagement trends like the “man-gagement” ring. Historically engagement rings symbolized a woman’s bondage to a man, and while engagement rings no longer bear this connotation, it is a wonder why a symbol of engagement should grace the woman’s finger, but not the man’s. After all, they’re both getting engaged, right? In response to consumers questioning this odd double standard, retailers are now selling engagement rings, albeit usually less ornate than the typical engagement ring, for grooms. Finally, we have arrived at the point where both women and men feel obliged to signal their commitment to another person.

Things like rings and dresses are just objects, though, and the wedding ritual itself is undergoing a transformation too. Fewer brides are comfortable with the idea of walking down the aisle clinging to their fathers’ arms as if they are property being given away to the men who, in real life, they’re marrying out of love and mutual respect. For this reason, more brides and grooms are choosing to walk down the aisle together. (As children, some us might have assumed that this is the way it had always been done, only to be surprised by the revelation that the groom had traditionally received the bride from her father.) As Lori Stephenson, co-founder of the wedding planning and design firm Lola Event Productions, tells Joe Mont of The Street, “They are coming together to the altar as equals and there is none of this old-fashioned idea of leaving your family”. In addition, more women are proposing to their fiances, and more grooms have groomswomen while more brides have bridesmen. As marriage evolves into an equal economic partnership between two stable individuals, and as the larger society echoes this egalitarianism, the wedding ceremony is increasingly being re-conceived to reflect this social development.

These are all somewhat solemn and philosophical considerations, but the modern wedding ceremony can be fun and quirky, too, reflecting the eccentricities of bride and groom, which is why photography shoots–those precious moments captured in time–are taking on a new twist, too. The pressure placed on brides to “play the part” and act like flawless beauty queens permanently embalmed in wedding photograph albums for decades to come can be truly nerve-wracking. As a way of alleviating some of this stress, and to create memories which reflect their off-the-wall side, brides are creating the perfect antithesis to the typical prim, proper, composed wedding photo shoot by deliberately . In some photo shoots, brides are dumping chocolate syrup on themselves, rolling around in the dirt, or running down the street in the rain–all in that expensive white, fluffy gown. (Usually the dresses go to the dry-cleaners afterward.) With the pressure to perform the part of the white-clad princess finally past her, the bride can now let loose and make a statement about who she really is (and still keep that heirloom dress, too).

And, of course, it has to be mentioned that more people are choosing get ordained online so that they can marry their loved ones. More and more, however, couples are double-checking with their local clerk to confirm the legal status of their wedding officiant and have low-key weddings ahead of time to avoid any surprises later on. It is a smart decision to make, but it’s also a relief to know that wedding performed by ULC ministers are legal in always every jurisdiction in the U.S.

These ideas aren’t for everyone–some people will still want to retain the more traditional elements of the wedding ceremony–but such quirky new customs wouldn’t be catching on like wildfire if there weren’t a substantial number of people who wanted to try them out. People are waiting until they’re older to marry, women no longer belong to men, marriage requires less approval from society to be considered valid, and when people do marry they tend to do so after much waiting and deliberation, making for a big, painstakingly planned out affair. Consequently, marriage requires a little tweaking for the modern couple, and maybe a way for stressed-out brides to let off some steam. The Universal Life Church Monastery thinks it’s a good thing that we’re taking a critical look at what the wedding ceremony means for us today and redefining it, without any lingering sense of shame, to suit our modern-day needs and desires.

As a minister ordained online, or as an individual who recently married or hopes to do so in future, what do you think about the changing face of this cherished tradition? Do you like the creative, sometimes odd, ways in which weddings are being reinvented to reflect personal tastes and changing social attitudes?

Source:

Business Insider

Tags: be a minister, be a priest, become a minister, become a priest, become a wedding officiant, Get Ordained, get ordained online, marriage, marriage ceremonies, marriages, tradition, traditional wedding, traditional weddings, wedding ceremonies, weddings
Posted in Alternative Religion, Christianity, Churches, Non-Denominational Weddings, Politics, Progressive spirituality, Religious Freedom, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Wedding Trends, What would Jesus do, Women's Rights, faith, humanity, marriage, marriage equality | No Comments »

‘Til Death Do Us Part

Monday, October 17th, 2011

“Until death do us part,” may no longer apply if a new proposal in Mexico City is adopted. Legislators are considering assigning an expiration date to all nuptials with a minimum period of two years per couple. Should you decide not to renew, your marriage just dissolves.

About half of marriages in Mexico City end in divorce. Compare that to a divorce rate of about 46% in the United States and we see the problem is not limited geopolitically. Regardless, divorces can be messy, and legislators are hoping to both curb the rates and encourage couples to consider all possibilities. In the states, we are familiar with the idea of a prenuptial agreement where couples sit down and discuss terms of both their union and potential separation before their wedding date, often with their minister and lawyer. This is would be rather similar if not for the fundamental difference of an expectation to part ways in the future. In both the new city proposal and the typical American “prenup”, provisions are included for how children and property could be handled in the event of a divorce, or in this case, a non-renewal. “The proposal is, when the two-year period is up, if the relationship is not stable or harmonious, the contract simply ends,” said Leonel Luna, the Mexico City assemblyman who co-authored the bill.

Because divorce is a terrible experience, many believe assuming it as the new normal is a step in the wrong direction. People often operate on ideals, and some believe we ought to strive for life-long partnerships. This has the potential to not only create stability, but hopefully slows down the courting process as couples weigh the gravity of the life-changing plunge they are about to take.

That’s simply not what is happening, and the divorce rates make that pretty clear. It’s a nice thing to aim for and certainly a veryromantic notion, but when the rubber meets the road it doesn’t work out almost half of the time. There is no arguing with the statistics but you must wonder if building in the expectation of separation really does anything to address the issue, or merely changes the way we think about it in a non-meaningful way.

The proposed law is gaining support and expected to be voted on by the end of the year. This is all occurring on the heels of the legalization of gay marriage, much to the displeasure of the Catholic Church. While accusations have flown that same-sex marriages will somehow destroy traditional marriages, no such banter has arisen against this legislation which actually does end marriages before the traditional clause, fulfilled only in death.

To examine another aspect to the situation, compare the treatment of divorced women to men in an orthodox, Catholic culture such as Mexico City. Often men are allowed to move forward with their lives after ending a marriage while women can be burdened with more societally induced shame, possibly barring them from finding another spouse. It will be interesting to see if the culture changes should this legislation pass the vote, or if the same norms will be modified to apply to the different connotation of “non-renewed marriage” as opposed to divorce.

The subject of marriage is no stranger to the ULC Monastery and its ministers. Many members were called into the ministry to officiate a wedding using the free online ordination process, including some members of the Seattle headquarters staff in New York this summer. Despite the atmosphere where established institutions meet modern application, the Monastery has never even considered the concept of changing marriage itself. It presents a whole new set of questions and I know many ministers have something to say on the matter. Join our conversation and tell us your thoughts on the proposed law in Mexico City. Would you consider your duties as a wedding officiant differently if marriages expired, or perform ceremonies in a different way? It can tarnish the meaningfulness of a commitment as well as update the arrangement pragmatically for our modern age.

Posted in Catholicism, Christianity, Non-Denominational Weddings, Religious Freedom, Secular alternatives, Women's Rights, marriage, marriage equality, marriage equality | No Comments »

NY Town Clerk Denies License to Gay Couple

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

The legalization of same-sex marriage in New York has not meant that all hurdles have been cleared for same-sex couples. In fact, things are beginning to get sticky. Recently, a rural New York town clerk denied a marriage license to a lesbian couple on the basis of religious belief, telling them to wait at the back of the line until a deputy clerk could be summoned. While the clerk argued that it was her religious freedom to deny the couple a marriage license, the couple argued that it was a violation of their civil rights to be forced to wait at the back of the line. It is a hard balance to strike: how do we protect religious freedom and civil rights at the same time? (This question is especially relevant to New York wedding officiants in the Universal Life Church, who may have dealt with couples experiencing discrimination.)

The incident took place in the town of Ledyard, on Lake Cayuga in upstate New York. Dierdre DiBaggio and Katie Carmichael of Miami, who own a working farm in the area, went to the town clerk’s office to obtain a legal marriage license. Their request was denied by the town clerk, Rose Marie Belforti, a religiously conservative Republican woman who believes that homosexuality is a sin against God. Belforti gave the couple the option of waiting at the back of the line until she could summon a deputy clerk to issue them the license. Given the recent change in New York wedding law, it has been Belforti’s practice to arrange for the deputy to sign marriage licenses for same-sex couples by appointment. Now the incident is at the heart of a growing debate about how local authorities balance religious freedoms and civil rights, with a conservative Christian legal advocacy group called the Alliance Defense Fund championing Belforti’s cause, and a liberal advocacy group called People for the American Way representing DiBaggio and Carmichael.

For Belforti, refusing marriage licenses to same-sex couples on the basis of religious belief is perfectly just, because it constitutes the free exercise of religion. In her mind, she cannot follow the will of God on one hand, and endorse homosexuality on the other, because homosexuality is an abomination in God’s eyes: “For me to participate in the same-sex marriage application process I don’t feel is right”, she said, according to Thomas Kaplan of the New York Times. “God doesn’t want me to do this”, he reports her as saying, “so I can’t do what God doesn’t want me to do, just like I can’t steal, or any of the other things that God doesn’t want me to do”. Belforti also uses legal arguments to defend her position. “New York law protects my right to hold both my job and my beliefs”, she told Kaplan, adding, “I’m not supposed to have to leave my beliefs at the door at my government job”. (By the same token, though, people who get ordained online in gay-friendly churches might argue that their religious belief supporting gay unions should not be restricted.) And according to Kaplan, she is one of several town clerks who have argued that New York’s Marriage Equality Act, the measure approved in July which makes gay marriage legal in that state, violates their religious freedom, since it would require them to issue marriage licenses to couples who, in their eyes, sin against God.

But the legal and ethical validity of Belforti’s argument has been challenged by DiBaggio and Carmichael, among others. The two women have expressed frustration over surmounting huge obstacles to equality only to be told to wait at the back of the line: ” Gay people have fought so long and hard to get these civil rights”, Carmichael told Kaplan. “To have [Belforti] basically telling us to get in the back of the line is just not acceptable”, he quotes her as saying. Deborah Liu, the general counsel for the People of the American Way Foundation, argued that Belforti does not have the right to use her beliefs to discriminate in a

legal capacity: “We totally respect everyone’s right to have their own personal beliefs”, she told Kaplan, but Belforti “doesn’t have the right to use them to relieve herself from doing a major part of her duties”. Of course, as many Universal Life Church ministers will point out, this would challenge the notion that the free exercise of religion is unlimited, and would designate parameters for when and where religious freedom should be limited. Something to be cautious of, for sure. New York governor Andrew M. Cuomo also defended the rights of same-sex couples seeking marriage licenses: ” When you enforce the laws of the state, you don’t get to pick and choose”, he said this summer according to Kaplan; meanwhile, writes Kaplan, “to clerks that refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples would be a misdemeanor”.

It is possible to see both sides of the issue, so whose right should win out in the end–Belforti’s, or DiBaggio and Carmichael’s? Is it possible to arrive at a compromise? On one hand we could argue that the individual should have the right to practice his or her religion freely in the workplace, but on the other hand we could argue that gays and lesbians deserve equal protection of the law, and that religious scruples have no place in the execution of secular government duties. (We also invoke equal protection of the law to defend the sacerdotal rights of ministers ordained online, for example.) If the Constitution forbids town clerks from discriminating on the basis of religion, maybe they should leave parts of their religion at the door when they go to work. (Not all religious beliefs–such as stoning adulteresses–are protected.) Maybe the free exercise of religion should be unlimited when it does not interfere with the rights of others, but limited when it does. Christians are generally allowed to worship freely, pray freely, and apply their principles to themselves in their own lives, but not necessarily to force those principles on others. Besides, by arranging for a deputy to come in to sign the couple’s license, Belforti would still have been helping the couple out, thereby offending God anyway. And what about religions which support same-sex unions? What about their freedom to exercise that belief?

It is certainly a hard decision to make, but it is a little harder to see how Belforti’s religious freedom is being utterly quashed when she is basically allowed to live life according to her own beliefs, save when she attempts to shape the entire lives of others around those beliefs. Then unlimited freedom just becomes preponderantly one-sided and tyrannical.

Make your thoughts known on this issue by joining ULC Monastery’s Facebook discussion forum and social network for ministers.

Source:

The New York Times

Posted in LGBTQ rights, Non-Denominational Weddings, Politics, marriage, marriage equality, marriage equality | No Comments »

How to Perform a Nondenominational Wedding

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Non-Denomination Wedding

Online churches like the Universal Life Church Monastery have long offered a way for anybody to get ordained online and marry their friends and family in personalized, meaningful settings, but many ministers still have questions about the logistics of wedding officiation and the legality of online ordination. We thought we would take a look at a couple of ordained ministers in the ULC to illustrate how fun and easy it can be to perform a wedding ceremony for your loved ones.

Erica Ried Gerdes, a performer and choreographer, and Bex Schwartz, a writer, director, and performer, are two women who exemplify the creative energy and dedication of newly-ordained ULC ministers. The women both decided to become an ordained minister online in order to marry friends and relatives who knew and trusted them. Like many new so-called “mail-order ministers”, the women had to do a little research and navigate around the roadblocks to performing legal weddings, and their stories may go far in answering questions and assuaging the concerns of other ULC ministers.

So what did Ried Gerdes and Schwartz learn from their experiences? One of the

Marriage paperwork

first things a prospective minister asks is how difficult it is to obtain a legal minister’s ordination credential through an Internet church. Schwartz cheerily explains how simple the ordination process is: “It is a piece of the cake, as they say! You go to the ULC's site and click a few buttons, and, bam, you are ordained”, she tells Claire Zulkey on her WBEZ 91.5 blog. But that is just the ordination process itself. What about getting registered? Schwartz explain the necessary steps for wedding officiation in New York City, where she performed her wedding: “If you want to perform weddings in NYC, you need to register with the City Clerk's office as an officiant”, adding that one simply needs to obtain the ULC New York City wedding officiant package, which includes all of the necessary paperwork, “and fill out the forms with the city of NY. Then you go down to the City Clerk's office and exchange all the forms and then they bring out a giant book and you get to sign it”. Showing its support for the LGBT community, the ULC Monastery also offers New York City same-sex wedding officiant packages, which are legally identical to the regular package but are custom-tailored for same-sex couples. Of course, this only counts for New York City, but if you do not live there, do not fret—the ULC Web site will guide you to sites which provide wedding laws for other states and countries (as mentioned above). Fortunately, ministers ordained online can solemnize marriages in most U.S. jurisdictions.

Once the technicalities of getting ordained and registering as a new minister are sorted out, there are other concerns people have about performing a modern nondenominational wedding ceremony. One of these is how to integrate the bride and groom’s unique personal tastes and preferences into the ceremony in order to make it relevant. Fortunately, online ordained priests and minister already tend to be friends and family or bride and groom, but it is still helpful to point out the ways in which the wedding officiant can make the ceremony perfect. One way, Schwartz tells Zulkey, is to go over samples of wedding ceremonies from the religious backgrounds of bride and groom, either choosing or rejecting one and then tailoring it to fit the bride and groom’s preferences. Another way is to incorporate stories or anecdotes about the bride and groom that will amuse guests and make them laugh. Of course, it is also important to consider personalized wedding vows, which may require assigning homework to bride and groom asking them to draft the vows that best express their feelings for one another. Perhaps most important of all, as Ried Gerdes notes, is to get a clear idea from bride and groom of exactly what basic theme they want for their wedding: “quirky, traditional, long, short, family related or not, religious, secular, readings, songs, etc.” The point is to get a crystal-clear idea exactly how bride and groom want their ceremony to be designed and conducted, and what themes, narratives, and values should be integrated into the ceremony based on feedback from bride and groom.

In addition to these issues, new ministers should anticipate the occasional patch of rough waters in planning and performing wedding ceremonies. Schwartz and Ried Gerdes both describe some of the more challenging times in their ministries, giving other ministers an opportunity to do their homework, as it were, and prepare ahead of time. For Schwartz, the most challenging part of wedding planning and performing is making it special for the couple: “The most challenging part of the ceremony is scripting it so it is truly unique and representative of the couple. Every couple is different and deserves their own special language and I need to make sure their ceremonies make them happy.” Ried Gerdes expresses a similar concern: “Writing the ceremony is rough, ‘cause you want it to be special to each couple, and when I send it off for approval, I think that is the most nerve-wracking part–what if they hate it?! I get nervous if/when they send revisions.” Some of these challenges are made easier, however, by wedding planning guides and resources such as Baker’s Wedding Handbook: A Resource for Pastors. The point is to get as much feedback as possible from bride and groom and organize this into an eloquent narrative which provides a profound and accurate portrait of the love that brings them together on that day.

These bits of advice only touch the tip of the iceberg, of course, but they do cover the basics. Obtaining a legal minister’s ordination credential is easy since the church’s belief that everybody should be allowed to minister is a protected freedom; it is important to discuss ideas with bride and groom ahead of time and get feedback from them about their values, personal stories, and aspirations; and, finally, to avoid disappointment it is vital to prepare a wedding script which integrates these elements in a powerful and relevant way. Becoming a wedding officiant and performing marriage ceremonies for loved ones can be a daunting task, and it raises many questions that often go unanswered, causing a great deal of head-scratching, but, as the stories of Ried Gerdes and Schwartz illustrate, it actually turns out to be much easier than the old-fashioned way, not to mention the fact that it allows you to play a vital role in the lives of people you know and love.

Source:

WBEZ

Posted in Alternative Religion, Non-Denominational Weddings, Spirituality, Wedding Trends, marriage, marriage equality, marriage equality | No Comments »

Tribal vs. Federal Same-Sex Marriage Laws: What’s the Difference?

Saturday, August 6th, 2011

On 1 August 2011 the Suquamish Nation, located northwest of Seattle along Washington state’s tangled coastline, became the second Native American tribe in the United States to legalize same-sex marriage. The first tribe to do so was the tiny Coquille Nation in Coos Bay, Oregon. The new legislation was possible because these tribes are federally-recognized sovereign nations, so their laws are not necessarily subject to state constitutional bans on same-sex marriage. An important question arises in light of this legal step forward: If a same-sex marriage is performed on tribal land, why can’t it also be recognized by the state or federal government? Ideally, it should be, if the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution has any relevance.

By the way—almost everybody has an opinion on this topic, so we want to know you think as a minister ordained online in the ULC Monastery.

But first let us take a brief look at the tribe’s decision. The new legislation was spearheaded by tribal member Heather Purser, an openly lesbian Seattle resident. For months Purser had been attending tribal meetings and requesting that the council amend the tribal constitution to legalize same-sex marriage. After meeting somebody special, she attended a tribal meeting in March and reiterated her request, and the tribe voted unanimously to enact the amendment. In June the tribe held a public hearing on the matter, and on 1 August the amendment was finally adopted, with no opposition. Purser’s old sister, who attended the March meeting, told the Seattle Times that “for Heather it means acceptance and recognition from out tribe”.

What does all of this have to do with people who become ordained online as priests or ministers, you may ask? More than you might think.

Currently the U.S. federal government does not recognize any same-sex marriages that are recognized by local state, tribal, or ecclesiastical governments. Consequently, these marriages are not granted federal protections, which include Social Security survivor benefits, equal treatment under the IRS tax code, and equal immigration rights (among over one thousand other protections). The culprit? The Defense of Marriage Act. Native American tribes which recognize same-sex marriage and religious organizations which recognize same-sex sacramental marriage face a similar challenge. Just as the federal government discriminates against religious denominations which support same-sex marriage, it discriminates against tribal governments which support same-sex marriage. By acknowledging marriage as defined by one religion but not another, the government is engaging in religious discrimination, and by acknowledging marriage as defined by one tribe but not another, the government is engaging in tribal discrimination.

There is a good reason why this policy is unjust, and why those who decide to get ordained in a nondenominational online church have a vested interest in the issue for their own reasons. The reason why same-sex marriages recognized by Native tribes should also be recognized by the federal government is found in the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Specifically, the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment requires states to grant equal legal protection to every citizen:

[N]o state shall … deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Clearly, if the federal government is imposing this requirement on individual states, it must be expected to meet this requirement itself. If the federal government, through the Equal Protection Clause, requires itself as well as every state to provide every citizen equal protection of the law, and the federal government provides heterosexual married couples more protections than Suquamish same-sex married couples, the federal government is violating the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

The same goes for the states. The federal government cannot allow heterosexual married couples more protections than same-sex married couples within a state without violating the Equal Protection Clause, and it cannot allow heterosexual married couples in one state more protection than same-sex married couples in another state without violating the Equal Protection Clause. As long as the federal government is following the self-same requirements it imposes on the states, it must grant equal protection under the law for every person in every state in order to abide by its own Equal Protection Clause.

And, of course, the same goes for people who belong to any one of the various religions of the world. Under the Equal Protection Clause, the federal government cannot recognize all marriages solemnized by one religious denomination, but not all marriages solemnized by another religious denomination, without violating its own Equal Protection Clause. Same-sex couples married by people who decided to become a wedding officiant or marriage minister in order to solemnize same-sex weddings would deserve the same protections as other married couples—if the federal government were to practice what it preaches.

Now, there are some who will argue that the federal government is not compelled to do this. “The Fourteenth Amendment protects individual rights from abridgement by state governments”, they say, “but it does not protect these rights from abridgement by the federal government itself”. But that makes no sense. Saying that the federal government’s own Fourteenth Amendment protects individual rights from abridgement by the state, but does not protect them from abridgement by the federal government itself is like saying that a mother should be able to tell her children not to do drugs whilst she herself is shooting up with heroin. It is just absurd. If equal protection of the law is a universally justifiable principle of natural law and ethical reasoning, it logically follows that it applies to the federal government with as much force as it applies to state governments. Thus, even if the federal government is not technically bound to its own Equal Protection Clause, this does not mean that it should not be—it only means that a new amendment needs to be enacted to ensure that it does.

In summary, the point is that if same-sex marriage is recognized by a Native American tribe such as the Suquamish Nation, it should also be recognized by the federal government in order to meet the requirements of the Fourteenth Amendment—which must, to be fair, apply also to the federal government itself. Currently same-sex tribal marriages are not recognized by the federal government. Ministers in churches which recognize same-sex marriage have a voice in this larger discussion about the relationship between tribal and federal governments, because the same-sex marriages they perform are not recognized by the federal government either, even though the marriages of other denominations are. For this reason, we would like you to join the debate and share your thoughts as a minister in the ULC Monastery by visiting the church Facebook discussion forum and minister’s social network.

Source:

The Seattle Times

Posted in Tribal rights, humanity, marriage, marriage equality | No Comments »

Lady Gaga to Become ULC Minister?

Friday, July 29th, 2011

Last year on the ULC Monastery blog we posted a story about Lady Gaga’s plan to become ordained as a minister, but it was unclear which church she intended to join. Now there is a suggestion that the pop singer might get ordained in the Universal Life Church, for the purpose of marrying her same-sex fans. Similar same-sex ceremonies officiated by the singer would follow.

The openly bisexual singer of “Born This Way”, “Judas”, and other major hits revealed her plans in an interview on KISS FM. She told the radio station that she is pursuing ordination so that she can marry her yoga instructor to her instructor’s partner in a same-sex ceremony. Similar ceremonies officiated by the singer are expected to follow. A factor driving the pop megastar’s decision is the recent passage of the Marriage Equality Bill in New York state, which legalized same-sex marriage. The new law will make it easier for her to serve as a legal wedding officiant at same-sex ceremonies, and the most likely path seems to be ordination in a nondenominational online church since online churches tend to recognize same-sex unions and teach that everybody has the right to be an ordained minister.

Of course, as always, naysayers have criticized Lady Gaga’s decision as well as the whole online ordination phenomenon itself. For a person to get ordained in order to marry their friends makes a mockery of marriage, they argue, because marriage should be treated with solemnity and sacredness. Actually, though, the opposite is true.

Anybody can go to a county clerk’s office and get married as long as they have $50 and the right set of chromosomes, even if they do not love each other, and anybody can get married by a minister who has received traditional minister training and education, even if the minister is a complete stranger to be people being married and has no personal connection to their relationship.

By contrast, people get ordained online to marry other people specifically because they know those people love each other, and not just because they can procreate; they also get ordained online because they have a personal connection with the people they are marrying, lending greater meaning to the ceremony. So, no, compared with ministers marrying complete strangers just because they have the money for the certificate and they can procreate, Lady Gaga getting ordained to marry her yoga instructor is hardly a mockery of marriage.

The Universal Life Church Monastery is happy to see people in positions of immense cultural influence championing sacerdotal ordination rights as well as the right of two consenting adults to confirm their love for one another in a legal sacramental wedding ceremony. Such a sign of commitment to social justice on the part of high-profile media personalities like Lady Gaga is a crucial step forward in making same-sex marriage a normal and acceptable thing. Hopefully we will see similar gestures from celebrity ministers in future.

Sources:

FABlife

Daily Mirror

Gigwise

Posted in Celebrity Ministers, Churches, LGBTQ rights, Politics, Religious Freedom, marriage, marriage equality | No Comments »

ULC Ministers Lend a Hand in New York Weddings

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

As they exult in the recent passage of marriage equality in New York state, supporters of same-sex marriage still have many questions about how to perform a legal wedding ceremony for the upsurge in newly engaged couples. Filling the vacuum of much sought-after wedding officiants is a host of newly ordained priests and ministers in the Universal Life Church Monastery, which has long supported full equality for lesbian and gay couples. During this time of momentous social change, these young ministers will be able to play a vital role in celebrating unions based on love and mutual respect.

Demand for same-sex wedding officiants has surged since the passage of the bill, especially since New York state is the third most populous state in the United States, and New York City the most populous city in the country, with over eight million people in the city proper alone. Additionally, New York is the second biggest city in the world, just after Mexico City, where same-sex marriage is legal. Christina Boyle of The Daily News quotes ULC Monastery spokesman Andy Fulton as saying, “Just over half of the New York wedding officiant packages we’ve shipped since June 24 have gone to New York City”. New York’s size and influential role in world affairs, culture, and the economy make the passage of the bill particularly historic and show that change is possible on a relatively large and complex scale. Who better to welcome this giant leap forward than an interfaith, nondenominational church like ULC Monastery?

ULC ministers have various reasons for deciding to get ordained online to perform a legal wedding ceremony, but many share a common vision of helping out traditionally marginalized people because they have seen firsthand that these people love each other just as much as anybody else and therefore deserve the same treatment. One of these ministers is Nancy McAlley, a registered nurse who decided to become a minister online in the church so that she could be there for couples who might be rejected by other wedding celebrants: “When the law passed, I felt there were so many people out there wanting to get married that I would sign up and be an option for them”, she told Boyle, adding that “gay couples deserve the same rights as straight couples,” McAlley, 61, said. “I’m open to doing the ceremonies anywhere”. Many ULC ministers agree and, realizing it is only fair and reasonable to reward our best human virtues, have offered their services as a gesture of recognition and respect for loving, committed relationships.

But what are the roadblocks to getting a marriage legally solemnized in New York state? There are multiple resources which can help facilitate the ordination and marriage officiation process for both prospective ministers and engaged couples. Ministers and couples should obtain information on New York state wedding laws, which differ from those of other states, as well as contact their local clerk’s office to ensure that marriages are registered properly. In addition, specific documents (included in the ULC Monastery’s New York same-sex marriage officiant package) are required by the state and city of New York for ministers to carry out a legal sacramental wedding ceremony in these places. Of course, there are myriad other questions and concerns new ministers and couples have about marriage in New York, but hopefully these cover the basics and will help make for the best wedding experience possible.

The news about marriage equality in New York is truly galvanizing, but people still have questions and concerns about logistics. If you have performed a wedding in New York or have been married there since the passage of the law, we invite you to share your story. What sort of hurdles did you have to overcome, and what advice can you give others who hope to find a wedding officiant or plan a wedding there?

Source:

New York Daily News