Posts Tagged ‘become a minister’

Student Ministers on Why Online Ordination Matters

Friday, February 10th, 2012

With all of the media publicity surrounding online ordination, the benefits often get overshadowed by jokes about the easy, five-minute, one-click-away process. But getting ordained online is about more than just cutting corners; it’s also about breaking down ecclesiastical hierarchies. Students are among the first to realize this fact, and they will tell you there are several ways in which online ordination makes spirituality more accessible and egalitarian: it presents opportunities for the poor, it attracts open-minded individuals who believe in equality, and it respects the spiritual conscience of the individual.

The money issue is important to students, because, well, most students are pretty poor. Given the lingering economic downturn and rising tuition costs in the United States, penny-pinching students are realizing it’s easier to get ordained online for free than to flush $80,000 down the toilet in a traditional seminary. “It’s a funny concept that you can get ordained online,” student minister Joshua Horton tells Zirconia Alleyne of the Western Kentucky University Herald. “You don’t have to go through this big, expensive monastery to be ordained.” Horton, who got ordained online in the ULC Monastery, chose this path because, as he states in his own words, “I wanted to do something that was quick and free so I could still concentrate on school”. These students aren’t getting ordained online because they’re lazy and refuse to do the hard work; they’re doing it because it opens doors for both them and their poor peers and gives them the chance to make their spiritual voices heard regardless of income level. They’re doing it because wealth shouldn’t be a signifier of spiritual wisdom. That is one reason why online ordination is an attractive route for young students.

In addition to the fact that it gives a voice to aspiring ministers regardless of money issues, ordination online tends to draw on the talents and wisdom of people who believe strongly in equality. Horton himself has expressed the sentiment of many modern young people that every loving, committed couple deserves the chance to have their union recognized: “I would marry heterosexuals or homosexuals if they love each other”, he tells Alleyne. Why do people like Horton tend to be so fair and generous? One possible explanation for the openness of ministers ordained online is the fact that nondenominational online churches like ULC Monastery welcome people of every sex, race, nationality, sexual orientation, and religion, so long as they respect the law and the rights of others. Fair and open-minded people may be drawn to churches with fair and open-minded ordination policies, where members form an egalitarian circle rather than a hierarchical pyramid. This kind of relationship appeals to young ministers with a modern mindset.

Such egalitarian church policies enable greater spiritual freedom and respect for individual conscience. While conventional churches impose rigid, restrictive doctrines to control their flocks, reserving leadership roles for those who earn the approval of their fellow seminarians, interfaith online churches prefer more flexible laws which recognize the inborn wisdom of each individual. Horton doesn’t believe that God intended for ordination to be complicated, or to be restricted to ministers who had to jump through hoops to earn their ordination credential: “There’s a spiritual ordination put on by God”, he tells Alleyne, adding that “[i]t’s not the world’s decision who’s ordained”, “I won’t agree with those ministers who say I’m too young and not ordained”, and “Jesus was a carpenter, and he achieved great things”. Young, independent-minded students like Horton believe that every person has direct access to divine wisdom, and this belief is shared by members of nondenominational Internet churches like the ULC Monastery. No one has the right to say that another cannot access this knowledge unless they go through the church or consult a canonical sacred text approved of at some ancient synod by a bunch of dead white men. It is this kind of respect for individual spirituality and personal spiritual conscience that is so important to young people like Horton.

So while the media continue to poke fun at the novelty of online ordination, the rest of us will sit back and reflect on why it matters so much in our rapidly changing contemporary society, thanks largely to the savvy of forward-thinking students who decide to become a minister online because they see the potential in the online ministry platform. These reasons are many, but the most basic include the fact that free online ordination helps to blur the boundaries between rich and poor, creates the opportunity for young people to promote equality, and recognizes that ordination is a compact made between the individual and God (or gods), and not between the individual and an ecclesiastical hierarchy. It is these values which ULC wedding officiants embody each time they perform a wedding ceremony, baptism, or funeral. They realize that it isn’t just a big joke, but that it offers a serious opportunity for individuals to change the way in which “religion is done”.

Source:

Western Kentucky University Herald

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    Why Florida’s School Prayer Bill is a Bad Idea

    Friday, February 3rd, 2012

    On the same day as the Washington state senate votes on a bill to legalize gay marriage, the Florida senate was preparing to vote on a bill that would legalize prayer in public school classrooms, further illustrating the widening rift between the religious right and the secular left in the United States. Ideally no such rift would exist in the first place, but the argument supporting public school prayer has several problems which deserve to be addressed: it is unrealistic to think that all religions will be accommodated, public school prayer could create unnecessary tensions and divisions in the classroom, and there is a perfectly legitimate alternative.

    On the surface, the bill would seem to skirt any potential violation of the First and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution by ensuring that all religions are represented fairly and neutrally, as in a comparative religion class. Only students would be allowed to give the prayers, which would be required to include a message of inspiration. The definition of what is inspirational would be determined by the state, and school districts would not have the authority to change this definition. Additionally, in order to prevent public officials from endorsing a biased view of religion, public school employees would be barred from vetting or in any other way revising or changing the students’ prayers. Ostensibly, under the proposed law, any religious message could and would be accommodated.

    It isn’t certain that this is the case, though, and there are some serious logistical problems with any attempt to accommodate religious prayers and messages in public schools. To be fair, the religions of all students must be accommodated, without a single exception. But how do we accomplish this? With some sort of special list or roster? Only so many students can be accommodated, and most students are Christian, so by the time a non-Christian student has the chance to get their name on the school’s special “prayer list”, it might be too late because every space is filled in with the name of a Christian student. Florida schools might have to start turning away non-Christians if and when Christians gain the upper-hand. Also, it’s hard to believe the average Florida school administrator would accommodate a Satanist or voodoo practitioner, so all religions probably wouldn’t be represented. The consequence is that the vast majority of prayers would represent a Judeo-Christian perspective, while some would most likely be flatly rejected or, at the very least, discouraged. And that isn’t exactly fair. So even if the stated intent is to represent a fair and neutral perspective on religion, it won’t necessarily turn out that way.

    Besides, even if we were able somehow to bring together all religious viewpoints in the public school classroom, there is no guarantee that these viewpoints will meld together harmoniously and peacefully in an environment of mutual respect. People are passionate about their religious beliefs because, by habit, religion tends to be less concerned with calm philosophical reasoning. This is perhaps even truer for the male-dominated Abrahamic religions, which have been the source of much violence and terrorism in the world. Imagine if a Christian student said a prayer, and a fundamentalist Muslim student was offended by the Christian’s message, or, equally, if a Muslim said a prayer and a fundamentalist Christian decided he deserved to be harassed or beaten on the playground to punish his spiritual infidelity. Given their minority status, Muslim, pagan, atheist, and other students will be especially vulnerable to harassment and bullying in school if stormy, emotional debates about religion are opened up in public schools. This is particularly worrying due to the fact that schools are supposed to be places where students have access to education in a safe, peaceful environment. Creating opportunities for religious tension and, potentially, bullying, doesn’t seem like a good idea, then, especially given the growing cultural diversity of the United States.

    The problems with Florida’s school prayer bill do not end with the difficulties of trying to accommodate every religion, or the tensions created by opening up the classroom to religious instruction; they include the assumption that all good moral and inspirational messages are necessarily rooted in religious instruction. One supporter of the Florida bill, Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Valrico, suggested that opponents of the bill didn’t want children to be inspired at all, as CBS Miami reports: Storms expressed her bewilderment over the mounting opposition to the bill, asking, “[d]o you suppose that opponents want, instead of to inspire little first graders, maybe they want to demoralize them?” But this is a fallacy. What Storms does here is create a false dichotomy, which states that only one of two options are possible when in fact there is a third (and, probably, many more), perfectly good option. Storms assumes that only religious inspirational messages or demoralizing messages are possible when in fact secular inspirational messages are possible, too. Nobody is arguing that children shouldn’t be inspired, but the inspiration of our nation’s children needn’t be rooted in religion; it is this secular inspirational message which is appropriate for public school situations. It almost seems as though Storms knows this but deliberately creates the impression that it isn’t the case. So, no, the people of Florida – as well as the rest of America – doesn’t have to settle with a bill that permits religious prayer in public schools.

    All of this public school prayer legislation is a bit tiring, especially in a country which is supposed to be a secular democracy, but separation of state and church is a principle worth fighting for. Florida’s proposed school prayer measure is simply a bad idea: it’s unlikely that all religious viewpoints will be accommodated, it opens the door to religious tension and conflict, and secular messages offer a perfectly legitimate and neutral alternative for inspiring and electrifying students in a spirit of solidarity and harmony. When we reflect on these observations, legislation like the Florida bill begins to look more like an incrementalist attempt to insinuate religion into public policy, an ominous prospect indeed. This is something the Universal Life Church Monastery treats with extreme caution, because it is a fine line between letting students express their religious beliefs, and endorsing those beliefs through preferential treatment.

    Source:
    CBS Miami

      Featured Minister – Mayor Oscar B. Goodman

      Friday, January 27th, 2012
      UNIVERSAL LIFE CHURCH ORDAINS OSCAR B. GOODMAN, FORMER LAS VEGAS MAYOR AND FORMER GO-TO DEFENSE ATTORNEY TO THE MOB
      Goodman to perform a mass wedding ceremony at The Mob Museum in Las Vegas on Valentine’s Day

      Mayor Oscar B. Goodman

      Former Las Vegas mayor and notorious lawyer for the old mob, Oscar B. Goodman has repented and seen the light! The spirit has compelled him to get ordained with the Monastery and begin his new heavenly career as a Universal Life Church wedding minister. His Honor will officiate his first wedding on St Valentine’s Day 2012 at the new Mob Museum, formerly the old  federal courthouse and U.S. Post Office in downtown Las Vegas, Nevada. It was there that mob lawyer Goodman made a name for himself representing such reputed mobsters and bad guys as; Meyer Lansky, Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal and Anthony Spilotro.  Today, Brother Goodman joins the ranks of celebrity ULC Ministers, including Conan O’Brien, Kathy Griffin, Jeff Probst, and Rob Dyrdek (who has just finished officiating his sister’s wedding on his upcoming Fantasy Factory MTV series).

      Seven couples will have a chance to have the new “Mob Minister” marry them inside of the old historic downtown courtroom.  The couples will be chosen on February 1 via a random drawing and promotion hosted by Vegas.com, The Mob Museum and the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority.   For details and to enter the MARRIED AT THE MOB MUSEUM contest, visit www.vegas.com/weddings.

      Brother Goodman enjoyed an exciting career as a young public defense attorney who later rose to become Las Vegas’s most popular Mayor of all time, an office he held from 1999 to 2011.  In 2007, he was re-elected for a third term, winning 86% of all votes!   He is also the first Mayor in the country to be succeeded by his wife, Mayor Carolyn G. Goodman.  During his career, Br. Goodman also worked as a spokesperson for Bombay Sapphire Gin for which he was compensated $100,000 and donated entirely to charity.  He currently serves as chairman of the host committee for the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority.

      Mayor Goodman is a key visionary of The Mob Museum and oversaw the purchase of the building many years ago for $1 from the federal government with the promise to preserve its historic nature.  The Mob Museum, the National Museum of Organized Crime and Law Enforcement, is a $42 million dollar project a decade in the making.  Recently named by Travel and Leisure as a “Las Vegas best new attraction”, The Mob museum was designed by the same team that created the International Spy Museum in Washington D.C.  It includes iconic one-of-a-kind artifacts and interactive, themed environments, and even a short film hosted by Hollywood producer Nicholas Pileggi (of the movie Casino fame).  By way of interest, Mayor Goodman appeared as himself in the 1995 Martin Scorsese film Casino.

      The interactive exhibits include getting a chance to use the same type of wire-tapping gear as the FBI to listen in on conversations and a chance to go up against the bad guys in a hands-on Tommy gun exhibit. It is purported to be “as close as you can get to the Mob without being asked to wear a wire.”  The exhibit includes an insider’s look into some of the Mob’s biggest players including Al Capone, Whitey Bulger, Bugsy Siegel, John Gotti and many more.  Rumor has it that Whitey Bulger is trying to attend the affair but the Boston authorities are turning a deaf ear to his pleas.

      To show the other end of the spectrum, in 1950 the former federal courthouse and U.S. Post Office was the site of one of 14 nationally televised Kefauver hearings to expose organized crime.  The hearings gained the highest ratings of any television show of their day. The nation was glued to its televisions as mobster after mobster took the Fifth Amendment, denying any association with the Las Vegas hotels they built and ran. The Mob Museum is also working with the FBI and many famous undercover agents who made a career of fighting the mob, including legendary agents Joe Pistone who infiltrated the Mob posing as a small time jewel thief, Donnie Brasco, Cuban-born Jack Garcia and others.

      As “Hizzoner” has become an ordained minister, the Universal Life Church Monastery prays everyone will come to understand – we are all children of the same universe – no greater than the trees and no lesser than the stars. We all have a right to be here.

      Contact the Monastery or follow us on Facebook and Twitter, video of the ceremony to follow.

        Washington State Secures Votes for Gay Marriage

        Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

        Marriage equality possible in Washington StateOn 23 January, at a packed Senate committee hearing in the Washington state Capitol in Olympia, the Legislature secured the last vote required to pass a pair of bills (House Bill 2516 and Senate Bill 6239) legalizing same-sex marriage in that state. There, Senator Mary Margaret Haugen (D-Camano Island) announced her support for the Senate bill, giving the deciding twenty-fifth vote needed for passage. The House already has majority support. Despite the optimistic outlook for gay marriage proponents in Washington, a host of right-wing conservative religious individuals and organizations are crawling out of the woodwork to fight the bills’ passage.

        It was uncertain whether Haugen, a moderate Democrat who chairs Washington State’s Senate Transportation Committee and seldom deals with social issues, would vote in the spirit of the Senate bill’s proponents, or that of its opponents. Her support became clear at the end of Monday’s hearing when she gave a speech about trying to balance her personal religious beliefs with the rights of other Americans, deciding ultimately that it was wrong to impose those beliefs on others:

        I have very strong Christian beliefs, and personally I have always said when I accepted the Lord, I became more tolerant of others. I stopped judging people and try to live by the Golden Rule. This is part of my decision. I do not believe it is my role to judge others, regardless of my personal beliefs. It’s not always easy to do that. For me personally, I have always believed in traditional marriage between a man and a woman. That is what I believe, to this day.

        But this issue isn’t about just what I believe. It’s about respecting others, including people who may believe differently than I. It’s about whether everyone has the same opportunities for love and companionship and family and security that I have enjoyed.

        For as long as I have been alive, living in my country has been about having the freedom   to live according to our own personal and religious beliefs, and having people respect that freedom.

        Not everyone will agree with my position. I understand and respect that. I also trust that   people will remember that we need to respect each other’s beliefs. All of us enjoy the benefits of being Americans, but none of us holds a monopoly on what it means to be an American. Ours is truly a big tent, and while the tent may grow and shrink according to the political winds of the day, it should never shrink when it comes to our rights as individuals.

        Do I respect people who feel differently? Do I not feel they should have the right to do as they want? My beliefs dictate who I am and how I live, but I don’t see where my believing marriage is between a man and a woman gives me the right to decide that for everyone else.

        The rest of Haugen’s speech can be read at The Capitol Record. It may not be a ringing endorsement for gay marriage or the modern wedding ceremony, but it is sufficient for LGBT people fighting for marriage equality. Haugen sounds like a woman struggling to decide how far to apply her personal religious beliefs to the lives of others, and how to integrate the more progressive values of much younger generations (she is 70) with those she grew up with. What is important is that deep down inside (as much as we can tell, at least), Haugen seems to realize that she cannot, in her right conscience, pick and choose which loving, consenting adult couples get to enjoy married life. It is probably an extremely hard decision to make for somebody whose life-long worldview has been shaped by the assumption that marriage is a union of one man and one woman. Those of us who support marriage equality should be grateful for her charity of spirit. She could have said “no”.

        Speaking of which, naturally, since this is all happening in the United States (although a case could be made that Washington is barely part of the U.S.), the bills have stoked the ire of some of the nation’s most vociferously anti-gay priests, pastors, and other ordained ministers, as well as many anti-gay lobbies. The National Organization for Marriage has pledged to donate $250,000 to primary challenges against any Republican who backs the bill. Others include Rev. Josh Fuiten, pastor of the evangelical Cedar Park Assembly of God Church in Bothell, Wa., the Most Rev. J. Peter Sartain, Catholic Archbishop of Seattle, and Ken Hutcherson, pastor of Antioch Bible Church in Kirkland, Wa. To give people a taste of what Hutcherson is made of, in a recent ThinkProgress article, he said, “If I was in a drugstore and some guy opened the door for me, I’d rip his arm off and beat him with the wet end”, apparently expressing his own understanding of “Christ-like” masculinity. In the same article, he also compared Washington state governor Christine Gregoire to John Wilkes Booth–Abraham Lincoln’s assassin–for announcing her support for the bill. So, no, it’s not a pretty bunch of knuckle-dragging troglodytes that await gay marriage supporters at the marriage equality battleground.

        Some of these marriage equality opponents plan to fight the bills with a public vote on the issue. According to a Seattle Times article, they plan to file a referendum to place the issue on a ballot by November, but by state law Governor Christine Gregoire must sign the bills into law before they can do this. She has already promised to sign the bills into law when they reach her desk. No marriage equality bill put up to a public vote has ever been approved, but there is always a first time for everything: a study conducted by the University of Washington last October indicates that if a gay marriage referendum were put on a ballot in Washington state, 55% of voters would uphold marriage equality. Thus, it may not be so easy for people like our warm, friendly, Christ-like Ken Hutcherson to count on the will of the people to get his way, but it does signal hope for the bills’ proponents.

        Sen. Haugen’s decision may have clinched the last vote necessary to legalize same-sex marriage in Washington state once and for all, but it is very possible that, once signed into law, the bills will be put up to a public vote through a referendum challenge spearheaded by religious conservatives. As mentioned, though, given recent findings on the growing acceptability of gay marriage, Washington state voters may be the first in the United States to uphold the law and support marriage equality for lesbian and gay people. We’ll have to see. At any rate, it goes without saying that the Universal Life Church Monastery fully supports Washington state House Bill 2516 and Senate Bill 6239, since this legislation would protect, affirm, and respect the family and the institution of marriage, regardless of sex. Let’s hope marriage equality becomes the highlight of 2012 for Washington state, and that those who get ordained online in the ULC will be able once and for all to legally officiate weddings for all loving couples, and to have each and every one of these recognized by the state.

        Sources:

        The Capitol Record

        FamilyScholars.org

        The Huffington Post

        The Seattle Times: Gay-Marriage Bill Draws Crowds for Hearings, Rallies at Capitol

        The Seattle Times: Gay Marriage in Washington: Legislature Has the Votes

        ThinkProgress

          “Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus” Video Sparks Furore

          Friday, January 20th, 2012


          Just two days after it was posted on Youtube, the video had racked up over 2 million views and now has over 15 million. The number of comments now totals over 30,000. In it, the author, Jefferson Brethke, recites a poem about the fundamental difference between Jesus and religion, and why we should follow the former, and not the latter. While some have criticized the poem as an attack on traditional right-wing values, others have argued that Brethke actually reinforces religion in his poem. In some respects, Brethke does seem to undermine his own message, and he does so in three ways: he avows a belief in the church and the Bible, re-affirms the doctrine of grace (a very orthodox and philosophically troubling doctrine), and employs a fallacy called a tu quoque argument, or “appeal to hypocrisy”.

          Brethke claims to reject religion, yet in almost the breath seems to embrace it. Watching the video, the viewer might think to herself, How refreshing—a critique of organized religion, but about midway through his video, Brethke reassures the listener that he does, in fact, believe in the church and the Bible: “Now, let me clarify: I love the church, I love the Bible, and I believe in sin…”. The problem with this statement is that, essentially, the church is synonymous with religion—it is an organized institution that teaches people what and how to believe with regard to spiritual phenomena. And the sacred text of that religion is the Bible, from which ordained priests and ministers teach lay members how to think, act, and behave in accordance with religious laws and doctrines which they themselves have invented but proclaim to have received from God. this is especially problematic given the extreme violence committed in the Bible on behalf of God’s “chosen people”. Brethke’s little Freudian slip here makes his video begin to look more like an excuse for religion—religion of the most violent kind—than a critique of it.

          But Brethke’s inadvertent endorsement of religion does not end with a vague proclamation of his love for the church and the sacred text which contains its teachings; he actually endorses specific doctrines found in the church’s sacred writings and taught by those who decide to become a minister in the church. The teaching Brethke invokes again and again to illustrate his position is called the doctrine of grace, a concept which is especially important for Protestant Christians:

          Religions might teach grace, but another thing they practice: / They tend to ridicule God’s people; they did it to John the Baptist. [...]. If grace is water, the church should be an ocean. [...]. I don’t have to hide my failure, I don’t have to hide my sin, because it doesn’t depend on me; it depends on him. [...]. Salvation is freely mine, and forgiveness is my own, not based on my merits, but Jesus’s obedience alone.

          This screed on religionists’ failure to emphasize grace over judgement is actually quite orthodox, because it simply reinforces grace, a religious doctrine promulgated by the church, an organized religious institution. For those unfamiliar with American Protestant Christianity, the doctrine of grace basically states that salvation is possible only through the mercy of God, never through good deeds, and the mercy of God can only be earned by believing that he became a human being and committed suicide to atone for human sin. But wouldn’t a truly radical critique of religion involve a critique of religion’s doctrines, including the doctrine of grace? Wouldn’t a truly radical religious critic attack this doctrine as morally reprehensible? After all, it teaches that no matter how much good you do you’re worthy of eternal torment, so doing good deeds (like feeding the hungry) doesn’t matter to God, and only by accepting God’s suicide on behalf of humanity will humans ever earn salvation. Sucking up to a manipulative deity, a critic would argue, does not produce nearly as much moral improvement in the world as do good deeds, so the doctrine of grace has mixed up priorities. Thus, Brethke’s insistence on the centrality of grace further betrays his loyalty to religion.

          If this still doesn’t have you convinced that Brethke is secretly religious, there is still the fact that he relies on a tu quoque argument, or an appeal to hypocrisy, to create the false impression that he’s challenging religion. He makes this argument repeatedly throughout his video, which seems to focus on the church’s failure to “practice what it preaches”, as if what it preaches may still be perfectly fine and dandy:

          …just because you call some people blind doesn’t automatically give you vision/…[i]f religion is so great, why has it started to many wars, built huge churches, but failed to feed the poor, / Tell single moms God doesn’t love them if they’ve ever had a divorce, but in the Old Testament, God actually calls religious people whores. / Religion might teach grace, but another thing they practice: / They tend to ridicule God’s people; it happened to John the Baptist. / [...]. / Now I ain’t judgin’, I’m just sayin’, quit puttin’ on a fake look, ’cause there’s a problem if people only know you’re Christian by your Facebook.

          The problem with these pronouncements is that they don’t actually refute anything (although we certainly invite you to do so as a minister ordained online). By pointing out the church’s hypocrisy, Brethke doesn’t actually refute the church’s teachings; he merely points out the church’s inconsistency in following those teachings. In doing so, he deftly avoids having to attack the teachings themselves. But perhaps that has always been his intent—merely to hold the church accountable for failing to abide by religious beliefs which he and the church both share. At any rate, he ends up failing to refute any actual religious beliefs being promulgated by organized religion.

          Brethke’s “critique” of religion is well-meaning and derives from a pure, heartfelt source, but it isn’t exactly clear that it is a critique in the first place. He ends up admitting that he still loves the church (an organized religion) and the Bible (a holy book which lies at the heart of that religion), endorses the very orthodox and morally questionable doctrine of grace, and avoids actually refuting religion by focusing on the hypocrisy of the church rather than the teachings of the church themselves. Ultimately he paints a picture of himself as a modern, relatively liberal religionist, but not necessarily as a critic of organized religion.

          As a ULC minister, what do you think about Brethke’s video? Does he give the false impression that he rejects religion?

          Source:

          The Huffington Post

            Bill Cosby Brings Humor to the Bible

            Thursday, December 29th, 2011

            As part of his comedy routine, Bill Cosby has taken on a rather precarious topic–the Bible. Fortunately, crowds have responded well to the venerable comedian’s jokes, which adroitly poke fun at Bible stories without denigrating the underlying message cherished by Jews and Christians alike. Humor helps introduce levity where it is most needed, as Cosby shows, but broaching the subject of Bible-based belief in a comedy routine has inevitably begged the question, what does the comedian really think? (And what do you think as a ULC wedding officiant?) While some of his views seem fairly commonsensical and down-to-earth, others deserve a little bit more scrutiny.

            An example of Cosby’s light-hearted interpretation of Biblical myth is his version of the story of the Great Flood and Noah’s Ark from the Book of Genesis, which has already successfully elicited roaring laughter from audience members. In his version of the story, Cosby imagines an exhausted Noah awkwardly trying to build an ark while gathering pairs of animals and cubits of wood. “Am I on Candid Camera?” Cosby has Noah asking. And in his book I Didn’t Ask To Be Born (But I’m Glad I Was) he tackles the story of Adam and Eve, asking why God had to make a woman out of a rib, and how Adam and Eve were able to cover their genitals with those little fig leaves if they didn’t have a needle and thread.

            This delightfully innocent take on the Bible points to the comedian’s real thoughts on the stories he parodies. And some of these seem pretty fair to the modern rationalist thinker, as well as the average minister ordained online. Cosby tells Adelle M. Banks of Religion News Service about a Christian proselyte he recently met on the street in Syracuse, New York, who offered him a miniature Bible, repeatedly asking the comedian if he knew Jesus Christ loved him, even though he said he already did. Cosby told the man, “It seems that you are more interested in conquering someone, and if you would read more about Jesus as he walked and talked and what he represented, you’ll find that he is not what you are” and that “[t]hat’s, as far as I’m concerned, not a model for the way Christ behaved.” This type of response is perfectly understandable from the point of view of a person who sees incessant religious peddling as a sign of desperate pride, and not genuine interest in the well-being of others.

            But some other things Cosby has said about the Bible and religious faith cause one to raise one’s brow in skepticism. Consider Cosby’s thoughts on the American football player Tim Tebow’s open displays of religious devotion at football games. Many people have criticized Tebow for being a disingenuous show-off rather than a devout Christian, but not Cosby. “I have no problem with his outspokenness about his faith…. Let him speak about it”, said the comedian, coming to the football player’s defense. But is this really the proper response? Perhaps as a minister in the Universal Life Church Monastery, you’ve asked this same question. If a person claims to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ (as Cosby seems to do), she or he should take a more critical stance on Tebow’s showy displays of piety, because Christ himself criticized such behavior:

            And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut the door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

            person reading bookNobody is saying that Tebow shouldn’t have the legal right to express his beliefs in public; they are simply saying that it is obnoxious and hypocritical for him to do so, as Jesus Christ himself teaches (and, undoubtedly, as many of our own ULC priests, rabbis, and ministers have concluded), so, really, there is little reason for a Christian to come to the rescue and defend the man. Such actions scream, “Look at how holy I am, y’all!” more than “I genuinely wish for God to help me win this game”. Besides, how petty is it to think that God should help you win your football game, as if your team deserves divine favor over the other team, or, more important, as if a football game deserves greater attention than, say, world hunger?

            Certainly, humor is a salve for the soul–including the soul that seeks so long and hard to be “saved” (whatever that entails)–and Cosby does a superb job of turning age-old Biblical myths into lighthearted parodies, causing even the staunchest of puritans to crack a smile, but the “man behind the mic”, as it were, also has some serious things to say about religious faith and the Bible, as we’ve seen. Some of these make more sense than others. The comedian is very able to call Christians on their hypocrisy when they try to peddle Christianity on the street as part of some sort of pride-driven spiritual conquest for the souls of “infidels”, but this doesn’t quite extend as far as calling show-offs on their hypocritical public prayers. Maybe one day it will.

            What do you think about Cosby’s comments on the Bible and religious faith? Become a minister and make your thoughts known on the ULC Monastery Facebook page or our social network for ministers.

            Source:

            The Washington Post

              Russell Brand Brings Ministry to New Comic Heights

              Monday, December 5th, 2011

              Recently on the ULC Monastery blog we wrote about Russell Brand’s online ordination in the Universal Life Church and his subsequent role officiating weddings on-stage alongside his often shockingly irreverent, “I-know-you-didn’t-just-go-there” comedy routine. Brand once again took his art of uniting hearts and igniting laughs to the stage, this time in the Mullins Center at the University of Massachusetts. This time, however, the comedian married not one, but two couples, integrating humor with the solemnity of marriage for an overall off-the-wall evening.

              The decidedly alternative wedding ceremonies came after a late start to a performance characterized by Brand’s trademark taboo shock humor, as Kate Evans of The Massachusetts Daily Collegian writes. Brand made up for his tardiness with hugs and kisses doled out to audience members, then dived into the act itself, brandishing his prowess in everything from bawdy jabs at popular culture to improvisational comedy. Referencing the Twilight series of teenage vampire films, the ULC minister made an impertinent joke about what vampire lovers do when their mates accidentally leave their sanitary pads at home, joking that her worst time of the month will end up being his best, and at one point he even invited an audience member up on stage and called his parents on his telephone to notify them that he had converted to homosexuality over his love for another audience member. All in all, it was an awkward evening for the squeamish prude, but a cathartic relief from life’s trials for everybody else.

              After the unabashedly vulgar comic segment came the ceremonies themselves, which certainly weren’t over-sanitized to humor the conservative sensibilities of the unsuspecting puritan. In a spontaneous twist, Brand, who decided to become a minister to perform weddings during his comedy routines, found a couple in the audience at the beginning of the show that he vowed to marry by the end, and this is exactly what he did, bringing together in holy matrimony Vincent and Francesca, who had been together for three years. But that’s not all. Brand followed up this wedding with a second that brought together a couple that had been together for seven years, proving that it takes more than seminary school training and a traditional minister’s credential to validate a happy, loving union. Truly, it must have been an enjoyable bizarre and surreal evening for couples and audience members alike.

              Of course, Brand’s style of wedding officiation isn’t for everyone, but it goes a long way in showing that a meaningful wedding doesn’t have to be a dour and boring affair, and that, on the contrary, it ought to involve a certain degree of whim and fancy, reflecting the joy and happiness of the couple being brought together. Naturally, we hope to see many similar weddings by Brand in the future, as they blur the boundaries between the solemn wedding the joyful one, as well as re-define what constitutes a proper public statement of love and commitment. It’s refreshing for once to see a couple getting married in a venue besides a church, without the traditional trappings like the giant white wedding gown and the old, moribund priest half-murmuring a series of obsolete vows. And even to hear a rude joke or two. What’s really the harm in that?

              Source:

              The Massachusetts Daily Collegian

                Conan O’Brien Ordained by Universal Life Church Monastery

                Friday, October 28th, 2011

                As New York Magazine‘s Vulture blog has just announced, Conan O’Brien, will be celebrating the one-year anniversary of his Late Night TBS talk show, by officiating the same-sex marriage of a longtime staffer.  We’re proud to confirm that Conan is one of the Universal Life Church Monastery’s most recent ordained ministers! Though the date of the wedding ceremony has yet to be released, Conan was ordained with Universal Life Church Monastery on October 21st and will likely be performing the marriage as part of the shows one week stint of episodes in New York City next week.

                The Monastery salutes Conan’s courage to perform a same-sex marriage and to set the example that we are all children of the same universe; gay, straight, black, white, brown, young and old.  The church invites all to become a minister of their own beliefs and speak truth to power during these critical times of change.

                  Turning the Traditional Wedding on Its Head

                  Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

                  For many brides-and-grooms-to-be, the image of a young woman in a fluffy white dress being led by her father down the aisle to say “I do” to a stern man in a sober black suit has grown stale, and a trifle generic. Nowadays, more people want to have an alternative wedding ceremony which reflect their unique tastes as a couple, and sometimes this means reinventing age-old traditions and, quite literally, throwing a little dirt on things. Below are a few ideas that are catching the wedding industry by storm might inspire a more creative and personalized wedding for the reader.

                  A lot of trends have focussed on re-defining what it means to be a bride or groom, and one of these is the “little black bridesmaid’s dress”, something even a lot of ULC wedding officiants haven’t seen at the altar yet. Traditionally, as we all know, black has been reserved for the groom and his men while the bride has donned and her bridesmaids, a vibrant blue, magenta, purple, or other similar color. But never black. Nowadays, though, bridesmaids and even brides themselves are wearing black because they like it, and it fits with the sartorial concept they had in mind (i.e. “Maybe I want my bridesmaids in black silk to resemble the night sky”, or something similarly inspired). For modern couples, white is no longer a symbol of purity, and black opens up countless creative opportunities.

                  But the change in symbolism goes a little deeper than wearing black instead of white, and sex roles based on specious notions about intrinsic biological differences are beginning to crumble with the emergence of more egalitarian wedding and engagement trends like the “man-gagement” ring. Historically engagement rings symbolized a woman’s bondage to a man, and while engagement rings no longer bear this connotation, it is a wonder why a symbol of engagement should grace the woman’s finger, but not the man’s. After all, they’re both getting engaged, right? In response to consumers questioning this odd double standard, retailers are now selling engagement rings, albeit usually less ornate than the typical engagement ring, for grooms. Finally, we have arrived at the point where both women and men feel obliged to signal their commitment to another person.

                  Things like rings and dresses are just objects, though, and the wedding ritual itself is undergoing a transformation too. Fewer brides are comfortable with the idea of walking down the aisle clinging to their fathers’ arms as if they are property being given away to the men who, in real life, they’re marrying out of love and mutual respect. For this reason, more brides and grooms are choosing to walk down the aisle together. (As children, some us might have assumed that this is the way it had always been done, only to be surprised by the revelation that the groom had traditionally received the bride from her father.) As Lori Stephenson, co-founder of the wedding planning and design firm Lola Event Productions, tells Joe Mont of The Street, “They are coming together to the altar as equals and there is none of this old-fashioned idea of leaving your family”. In addition, more women are proposing to their fiances, and more grooms have groomswomen while more brides have bridesmen. As marriage evolves into an equal economic partnership between two stable individuals, and as the larger society echoes this egalitarianism, the wedding ceremony is increasingly being re-conceived to reflect this social development.

                  These are all somewhat solemn and philosophical considerations, but the modern wedding ceremony can be fun and quirky, too, reflecting the eccentricities of bride and groom, which is why photography shoots–those precious moments captured in time–are taking on a new twist, too. The pressure placed on brides to “play the part” and act like flawless beauty queens permanently embalmed in wedding photograph albums for decades to come can be truly nerve-wracking. As a way of alleviating some of this stress, and to create memories which reflect their off-the-wall side, brides are creating the perfect antithesis to the typical prim, proper, composed wedding photo shoot by deliberately . In some photo shoots, brides are dumping chocolate syrup on themselves, rolling around in the dirt, or running down the street in the rain–all in that expensive white, fluffy gown. (Usually the dresses go to the dry-cleaners afterward.) With the pressure to perform the part of the white-clad princess finally past her, the bride can now let loose and make a statement about who she really is (and still keep that heirloom dress, too).

                  And, of course, it has to be mentioned that more people are choosing get ordained online so that they can marry their loved ones. More and more, however, couples are double-checking with their local clerk to confirm the legal status of their wedding officiant and have low-key weddings ahead of time to avoid any surprises later on. It is a smart decision to make, but it’s also a relief to know that wedding performed by ULC ministers are legal in always every jurisdiction in the U.S.

                  These ideas aren’t for everyone–some people will still want to retain the more traditional elements of the wedding ceremony–but such quirky new customs wouldn’t be catching on like wildfire if there weren’t a substantial number of people who wanted to try them out. People are waiting until they’re older to marry, women no longer belong to men, marriage requires less approval from society to be considered valid, and when people do marry they tend to do so after much waiting and deliberation, making for a big, painstakingly planned out affair. Consequently, marriage requires a little tweaking for the modern couple, and maybe a way for stressed-out brides to let off some steam. The Universal Life Church Monastery thinks it’s a good thing that we’re taking a critical look at what the wedding ceremony means for us today and redefining it, without any lingering sense of shame, to suit our modern-day needs and desires.

                  As a minister ordained online, or as an individual who recently married or hopes to do so in future, what do you think about the changing face of this cherished tradition? Do you like the creative, sometimes odd, ways in which weddings are being reinvented to reflect personal tastes and changing social attitudes?

                  Source:

                  Business Insider

                    Sex, Race, and the Biology Excuse

                    Thursday, October 20th, 2011

                    Inside the Brain
                    Digging Up Dinosaurs
                    Have you ever heard anyone exclaim, “It’s biology!” when confronted with the problem of male promiscuity, or the disproportionately high number of black people in American prisons? Perhaps their wording was “It’s genetic!” Either way, it shows just how convenient it is to attribute social inequalities to biologically hard-wired differences. As the figurehead of this trend, the emerging New Traditionalist movement has been pining for a return to a bygone era characterized by old-fashioned racial and sexual roles, but a new host of critics are raising their voices in dissent, pointing out the danger of this deceptively appealing retrogressiveness. And Universal Life Church ministers have a vested interest in this debate.

                    “It Must Be Because They’re Black!”

                    Hard-wired biological differences have been used to excuse racial inequalities in some of the most disturbing and questionable ways. As Lisa C. Ilkemoto of Ms Magazine explains, U.S. president Bill Clinton, along with the two leaders of the effort to map the human genome, announced in 2000 that racialization was all but dead. Biologist Craig Venter had proclaimed that “race has no genetic or scientific basis”, she notes, and this opinion was widely accepted in the scientific community.

                    Since then, however, efforts have been made by powerful institutions to re-introduce race as an explanation for human social inequalities. In her book Fatal Invention: How Science, Politics, and Big Business Re-Create Race in the Twenty-First Century, social critic Dorothy Roberts examines and attempts to discredit this trend. She points out how scientists, governments, and big business are using recent findings in genetics to render racial differentiation “neutral” and “factual”, and to justify racially-based explanations of health inequities such as the lower breast cancer rate but higher mortality rate among black American women.

                    Roberts also critiques how the commerce and justice systems use “genetic race” to justify bias in government as well as in personalized medicine–to make a profit. The commercialization of race-based drug sales, Ilkemoto paraphrases her as saying, “may impose a norm of genetic self-regulation that will fall most negatively on those deemed the source of genetic risk”, and these will too often be women of color. The genetic race hypothesis is also being employed in the U.S. government’s rapidly-growing DNA database. Roberts also notes how blacks represent a disproportionately large sample of offenders in the DNA databases due to racial profiling, racism in prosecutions and convictions, and assumptions about biologically hard-wired race differences which stem from a renewed interest in pseudoscientific, race-based explanations for violent tendencies.
                    A struggle for power
                    Responding to this glut of seemingly uncontroversial, benevolent attention to race, Roberts critiques the motives driving supporters of racial science. In particular, she points out the ideological motives behind the effort to preserve genetically race-based explanations for social inequity:

                    What links racial science from one generation to the next is the quest to update the theories and methods for dividing human beings into a handful of groups to provide a biological explanation for their differences—from health outcomes to intelligence to incarceration rates.

                    In other words, Roberts argues, racial science becomes a meme which keeps humans neatly classified and reinforces biological explanations for social inequity. This is critical in the effort to pawn off violence, disease, and traits generally regarded as inferior on less privileged groups, without having to think critically about how our minds and society influence this process. Every ULC wedding officiant and nondenominational priest should treat this pseudoscientific trend with suspicion.

                    “Men Are Like This, and Women Are Like That”

                    But the biology excuse does not end with race–it is also used to excuse sexual inequity. Consider the new gender-education movement, which is founded on the premise that boys and girls should be educated separately because they possess immutable biological sex differences. This hypothesis, which is supported by family physician and psychologist Leonard Sax and author and consultant Michael Gurian, posits that boys should trained to be leaders and competitors because they are naturally more aggressive and disciplinarian, and that girls should be trained to be followers and cooperators because they are naturally more passive and nurturing.

                    But Caryl Rivers and Rosalind C. Barnett, in their book The Truth about Boys and Girls: Challenging Toxic Stereotypes about Our Children, challenge these assumptions and attempt to refute the pseudoscientific claims made by people like Sax and Gurian. One case in point, argue Rivers and Barnett, is the lack of empirical evidence showing that girls should be taught in whispers because their hearing is so much more acute than that of boys, and the assumption that boys need to expend more energy than girls is also refuted by evidence showing that there is a positive correlation between exercise and learning in both boys and girls. As J Goodrich of Ms explains, chapter after chapter Rivers and Barnett refute the evidence used to support the Sax-Gurian principle that boys are dominators, and girls, doormats. This is important work, because it reminds us as ULC ministers how harmful, oppressive, and tyrannical sex roles based on bad science can be.

                    River and Barnett are not the only voices speaking out against pseudoscientific biological excuses for sex discrimination. Another prominent critic of New Traditionalism is psychologist Cordelia Fine, a senior research associate at the Centre for Agency, Velues and Ethics at Macquarie University and an Honorary Research Fellow at the University of Melbourne’s Department of Psychology. In her book Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference, Fine critiques the commonly-held belief that men are hard-wired to systematize, and women, to empathize, is damaging to ourselves and society. She shows how our minds feed into, interact with, and influence observable sex differences, which in turn reinforce our assumptions in a vicious cycle. At one point she critiques Dr John Gray (author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) for excusing the greater domestic workload of women by suggesting women need to do more housework because it produces the oxytocin which facilitates social bonds. She points out how Gray’s hypothesis is not empirically tested and that there are more satisfying sociological explanations for this double standard.

                    In addition to providing sociological and psychological insight, Fine combs through the neuroscientific studies justifying sex discrimination and debunks them, pointing out their methodological flaws and misguided interpretations of the data. For example, she points out, even in species in which adult males do not normally care for the young, such as rats, the males consistently show an uncanny knack for nurturing the young when females are absent, proving that nurturing abilities are not hard-wired and suggesting that if adult male rats can do it, well, so can adult male humans. Breaking down such paradigms is partly what people get ordained online to do. It is exactly this kind of nuanced, sophisticated, uncompromising scrutiny of simplistic, convenient, reductive belief systems that we should be taking more seriously.

                    Challenging beliefsChallenging Beliefs

                    We can basically see how powerful social institutions and systems perpetuate myths about hard-wired biological differences in order to justify racial and sexual inequity, using misleading or poorly-supported scientific studies as a crutch. Why? Because it benefits privileged groups like white, males, and heterosexuals while treating everyone else like chopped liver. It’s no longer clever to spout the platitude “It’s biology!” and expect people to take these words for granted. The consequences are foreboding: a return to the nineteenth-century, when blacks were enslaved because they were seen as intrinsically subhuman, or even further back to the prehistoric savanna when males hunted and waged war while females cooked the meat and popped out babies. Conceivably, biological determinism might also provide a justification for eugenics and racial cleansing.

                    Every period of history has its own pretty, pseudoscientific ideas about race and sex differences, which attract non-critical thinkers like a shiny metallic bauble, and only when the next generation arrives do we observe how preposterously subjective and sentimental our forbears’ “evidence” really was. Perhaps we perpetuate these myths because they make us feel safe and secure, and because they’re easy and convenient to believe in, but this doesn’t mean that they are good for us. The Universal Life Church Monastery takes a cautious, skeptical position on biological determinism, always emphasizing that we should challenge long-held, comforting beliefs, especially those which divide rather than unite us, for, after all, we are all children of the same universe.

                    Sources:

                    Barnett, Rosalind C. and Caryl Rivers. The Truth about Boys and Girls: Challenging Toxic Stereotypes about Our Children. New York: Columbia University Press, 2011. Print.

                    Fine, Cordelia. Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference. New York: Norton, 2010. Print.

                    Ms Magazine: “Rethinking Venus and Mars”

                    Ms Magazine: “Selling Race?”

                    Roberts, Dorothy. Fatal Intervention: How Science, Politics, and Big Business Re-create Race in

                    the Twenty-First Century. New York: The New Press, 2011. Print.